Something really powerful hit me the other day.

It came out of no where, which is how my aha moments usually tend to do. I’ll be driving or walking or cleaning, just minding my own business, and bam! Aha moment. The kind of moment that feels like if I were a cartoon, I could look up and see a little lightbulb illuminated above me to show everyone that something just really made sense in my head.

My latest aha moment was this: the only thing that keeps me from feeling (not being) beautiful is…comparison.

Comparison.

COMPARISON.

It is one of the most powerful enemies of my soul. It feels so small, so inconsequential, so teensy on the grand scale of my other thoughts and attitudes…but it is a mighty foe against all that I am made to be. And I see it, and it makes me want to tattoo something like STOP COMPARING on my hand so I see it every moment of every day (i’m kidding about the tattoo…i wouldn’t actually get one), and then maybe just maybe it would be enough to change me. It’s a silly idea, because any kind of real change doesn’t come from more discipline or personal willpower. Real change has to come from the inside. It has to come from my heart, and the only One who can truly enact such a change is Jesus Christ.

Comparison is simple. The definition of compare is to look at two or more things closely in order to see what is similar or different about them, or in order to decide which one is better. Did you catch that?!

Comparison is when I look at two things and decide which one is better.

I do that. All the time.

I look at myself and I look at someone else, and decide which one is better. And most times, nearly all the time, I am the one found lacking. I’m not as creative or pretty or thin or talented or charming or friendly or nice as the one to whom I’m doing the comparing too. And while you might say it’s better to be the humble one about yourself versus being the prideful one, I’m not so sure one is less evil than the other.

Neither attitude is a giver of life and neither attitude is full of truth. I believe that Jesus came to give us life, and He does that through truth.

There is a quote by Theodore Roosevelt that sums up these thoughts perfectly: Comparison is the thief of joy. So very spot on. And I see this thief stealing from me every single day.

Comparison leaves you with only two options, and neither are life-giving. I can compare and find myself lacking, so then I try harder and do more and push push push myself into becoming better. Or I can compare and find that I’m the better one, and while I might feel a little better about myself, all I do is set up my heart to fill itself with something really ugly….pride. Comparison is a lose-lose no matter which way your heart leads you.

I find myself doing this comparison thing is even the smallest and silliest of ways, and it threatens to steal my joy all the time. I feel so done with that, and while it’s not necessarily just something you can just turn off instantly, I am ready to fight the battle for a no-comparison zone in my heart and mind and soul. Because I know that in that kind of heart there is such freedom and joy and life, and I want it.

I want to be set free to be who I am, totally. Comparison keeps me in a box…it keeps me creating myself out of who others are. Others are awesome and vital and an incredible blessing…but they are others, not me. Each of us have been given a specific body and specific life and a specific soul that is different than others. It is meant to be different. You are meant to be you.

Don’t let the comparison to someone else keep you from finding the unending joy and life and freedom in being you.

What about you: how do you find comparison stealing from you? How do you fight the battle against comparison?

I’d love to hear your thoughts!

I want to talk today about what I think is one of the most beautiful and inspiring things in the world. It might sound odd and a little surprising, but it’s this…

…old women.

I’m being serious. I think old women are gorgeous. And today I write to tell all women, but especially those who have wrinkles and sagging skin and white hair, that you are stunning.

Old is of course completely relative, and I’m not here to give a definition to the meaning of old, so I suppose it’s up to you if you want to take in this message as an old woman or as a woman looking ahead to being old. Because we’ll all get there one day. Being old is not a curse or a negative thing or something to dread or run from…old is completely valuable and awesome!

It’s certainly no surprise for me to say that we live in a culture obsessed with youth and physical appearance, and I just don’t get it. I suppose you could tell me that I don’t get it because I’m still relatively young and don’t actually have to wrestle with the reality of a different face and hair and body that comes with age staring back at me in the mirror…but no matter,  I believe we have lost something truly precious in our cultural quest for youth. Old age is a precious and inspiring and beautiful thing.

I can only imagine what it must feel like for an older woman in today’s world. I know what it feels like for a younger woman in today’s world, and it’s a little brutal sometimes. Does it feel that way for an older woman? Or does age teach you the important things and give you that extra heart strength to see past all the crazy lies and standards that the world throws at us?

I know so many older woman that I think are so beautiful. Once again, it’s not so much about how they look, but the heart and spirit and soul of quiet and rest and grace that I feel. My favorite customers at the peach stand are the old ladies with white hair and wrinkles and hands that have worked hard, and when they look at me with a sweet smile and call me dear, I just want to hug them all. They are beautiful, and I wonder if they even know it.

I have two grandmother’s that I love so much, and they both have the prettiest white hair that I sincerely hope becomes a family trait passed down to me when I reach the white hair age. I don’t know if they like their white hair or not, but I certainly do.  I think Solomon the King had it right when he penned, “gray hair is a crown of splendor…” because it certainly looks like such on their heads. I don’t know if they sometimes think back to their younger years and wish they had that skin and hair and body back, but I hope they don’t. I hope they feel as beautiful as they are in this season of their life.

And wrinkles…I think wrinkles are beautiful and speak of a life lived and time passed. Wrinkles show that you’ve experienced life and you’ve lived through many seasons and that you have a thousand stories to tell. The lines on your face only show that you’ve laughed a lot and that, my dears, is to be celebrated. And honestly, one of the scariest things in the world is a woman’s face that has been injected with who-knows-what in order to take away the lines and wrinkles…those lines and wrinkles are gorgeous, and let no television show or magazine advertisement or celebrities plastic face convince you otherwise.

Age and all it’s realities is a beautiful and inspiring thing, and our world needs it.

So, dear old woman, we need you. We need your white hair and wrinkles to remind us of the importance of living life well and to laugh often and to walk the journey ahead of us. You inspire us to embrace a true understanding of beautiful, and you give us courage to fight against the war for our souls. Your wisdom and experience and knowledge on birthing babies and canning summer produce and making it through a difficult season and how to love a man and making the perfect loaf of bread is needed. It is vital.

And a word to the younger…our culture does everything it can to distance us from the wisdom of the older ones. Older people are looked down on and laughed at and disregarded in the time that we live in, and I firmly believe that if we too fall prey to this mindset, we will be the ones to lose. To disregard the older ones in your life and what they feel, think, and know will only set you up for failure. They are important, and it is only in your best interest to honor them.

So whether you’re old or waiting to become so, remember this: you are one of the most stunning things in the world.

What about you: what are your thoughts on aging and embracing a changing look? Older women: is it difficult to embrace your age in today’s world?

I’d love to hear your thoughts!