faith + inspiration

Isn’t it so easy to get the idea that everyone else but you is living the perfect kind of life? That everyone else is always dressed so pretty, and feeling so good, and doing all the right things all the time? I feel that way sometimes. Especially when I compare my life to the lives I see of others online…everything looks perfect when you see it online. I know I’ve talked about this before, but it bears mentioning again: things are not always as they appear, whether that’s online or in person. We humans are so good at hiding ourselves and our struggles, and all that really does is send a false message of perfection to those around us.

I am a recovering perfectionist (as I like to call it), which means that I can very easily give out that false message of perfection. I know that I have many, many times in my life. There is definitely a balance to find in that, because we all know those people who are opposite of perfectionism and spend all their time pouring out their troubles and difficulties. No one likes to be around someone like that for an extended period of time.

So what do we do…? I think we just be real. We smile when we’re having a fantastic day, and we smile when we’re having a difficult day but we also be completely honest and vulnerable when someone who cares about us asks how we are doing. Don’t hide yourself. People will love you for it, trust me.

One of the greatest gifts you can offer a spouse, child, or friend is your vulnerability. By being vulnerable and honest, you give them the chance to be the same. And that is a great gift.

I made a little list of “sometimes,” which isn’t hugely profound but just shows that not every single day is sparkly and full of adventure. Some days are just normal and quiet, and I like that.

/ / Sometimes I put my hair up in a messy bun and wear sweats all day, but sometimes I put on makeup, curl my hair, and wear a nice dress all day.

/ / Sometimes I feel like making a big meal for dinner, but sometimes I just want an egg sandwich.

/ / Sometimes I play music all day long, but sometimes I just like the quiet.

/ / Sometimes I feel content with who I am, but sometimes I just feel so full of issues and have a hard time being ok with myself.

/ / Sometimes I love hanging out with friends or family, but sometimes I just like being alone.

/ / Sometimes I really appreciate the technology of today and all the social media and online interactions, but sometimes I just wish all we had were real books, real face-to-face conversations, and no screens anywhere.

/ / Sometimes I try to find the closest parking spot to the store entrance, but sometimes I purposely park far away.

/ / Sometimes I drive really fast and hurried, but sometimes I just like to take my time.

/ / Sometimes I can’t imagine living anywhere but in the country, but sometimes I think I would love to live in the city.

/ / Sometimes I feel like getting a lot of work done in a day, but sometimes I just feel like curling up with a book and a cup of tea all afternoon.

/ / Sometimes I love to shop thrift stores and garage sales, but sometimes I just want to buy something brand new.

/ / Sometimes I feel like taking a long leisure hour to do hair, clothes, and makeup, but ~~sometimes~~ most times I get ready in fifteen minutes.

/ / Sometimes I love an entire day or two or three to be at my home doing projects and housework, but sometimes I just need to get out into town to shop or buy a coffee.

/ / Sometimes it’s easy to feel that connection with God, but sometimes I have to fight for it.

/ / Sometimes I can think of a million things to blog about, but sometimes I can’t think of a single idea.

I think we all have this kind of list, although everyone’s is different. We all have some days that are easy and inspirational, but then we have days that are difficult and just a little bit dull. And maybe that is ok…maybe it’s ok to struggle and fight for connection and depth. Maybe in that struggle we become a better, stronger, more-deeply-rooted person.

What about you: what are some of your “sometimes”?

I’d love to hear your thoughts!

I will never be pretty enough.

Pretty is defined as pleasing or attractive to the eye, and if that is the definition, then I will never be enough. I will never be pretty enough. There will always be a flaw and an imperfection in what my eyes see in the mirror. I will always have the pimples and red spots on my face. My hair will never be like the perfect magazine pictures. Varicose veins and cellulite will never completely disappear. Wrinkles will happen as I age and my looks will change. I will probably never be as thin as I once was (a whole other blog post in itself one day…).

But all these things are about being pretty. They are about being pleasing to the eye. They are only about what I can see.

What about if I stopped trying to be pretty and instead tried to be beautiful?

There’s a difference between pretty and beautiful, you know. Beautiful is defined as possessing qualities that give great pleasure or satisfaction to see, hear, think about, etc. delighting the senses or the mind. When I read this definition, I realized that being beautiful has little to do with looks and physical appearance. Beauty is not defined by what the eye can see, but rather what another person feels when they are with you.

Beautiful can include pretty, yes, but you can be beautiful without being pretty. You can also be pretty without being beautiful (think of actresses or models that are pretty to the eye but aren’t truly beautiful). Beautiful isn’t about what you can see. Beautiful is about the qualities you possess. Beautiful is grace, graciousness, kindness, giving, creative, and excellent. In essence, I don’t think that beautiful can ever be truly defined. Beautiful is undefined (hence my blog name…).

When I think of the things that I think are beautiful, I realize that I don’t find them such primarily because of how something or someone looks. I find it beautiful because of how I feel when I am in that setting or with that person. When something is beautiful, it makes me feel peaceful and happy and content. How something looks is part of the beauty, but it is not what makes it beautiful. Some of the most beautiful people that I know are not the ones that look like models or actresses. They are beautiful because of their heart and character and kindness.

It’s so easy for me to feel like I have to be pretty and perfect in order to be beautiful. But that’s a lie and it will keep me grasping for something that can never be truly attained. I want to stop chasing pretty and instead start chasing beautiful.

This doesn’t mean I just stop caring about how I look or about being pretty. I will still have fun doing makeup and hair and wearing pretty things, because that is a part of how I express my femininity. But these things do not make me beautiful or define my worth. Beautiful is found in my heart and soul, and in all that Jesus is within me. Beautiful is found in loving my husband, family, and friends well. Beautiful is found in giving and serving in whatever ways the Lord lays on my heart. Beautiful is found in the little things we do every day to spread cheer and kindness and love.

Beautiful undefined…that is you, my friend.

What about you: what are your thoughts on pretty vs. beautiful?

I’d love to hear your thoughts!