love

Dates are one of my favorite things ever. ever. ever.

I almost think that dates should receive their own love language category, but I guess you could argue that it’s more of an activity and not a way of loving. But there’s very little that fills up my little love tank than some kind of date with my handsome husband.

Dates can be all kinds of things, not just the dinner out + coffee afterwards that it usually is. I love going out to dinner, and I have to admit that my absolute favorite is a dinner spot that requires a nice dress, fancy hair, and a little extra makeup. Causal nights are super fun too, but there’s something about having to get all dressed up for a night on the town that feels so vintage and classic. Breakfast dates are another one of favorites (it’s starting to seem like all kinds of dates are actually my favorite…). I love breakfast more than any other meal, so to get out for a morning date is so super fun to me!

Like I said, dates don’t have to be all about going out or having a meal or coffee. A date is really about being together and consciously engaging with each other. That can happen on the couch in the evening with cups of tea and a treat, or a hike to a waterfall, or watching a movie together. A date can happen whenever or however you make it one.

From the beginning of our marriage, it’s been our goal to be intentional about dating and having date nights with each other. It doesn’t happen every week, which is our goal, but the point is not to make dating a hard nose rule…but to make it intentional. Life has so many different seasons, and depending on the season we find ourselves in, a date night out is harder than at other times. I know that having our first little one will change the way we do dates, and that’s ok. But that doesn’t mean we stop connecting and spending good and meaningful time together. Remember, it’s about being intentional, no matter how your dating looks in your season of life.

Here are some fun ideas for dating the one you love:

+ Go for a drive and use a flipping coin to determine which route to take at each intersection. If you need to cheat a little on the coin flip to end up an ice cream parlor or coffee shop, do it.

+ Make chocolate fondue and have a fun dessert on the couch with fruit, marshmallows, and pretzel sticks for dipping.

+ Think of ten fun things that you want to know about your date. Sit across from each other as you ask and answer the questions. Make the questions fun, not interrogative! (i.e. what is one thing you want to do for fun in the next year, what would you do with a thousand dollars right now, what was the best thing that happened to you this week, etc.)

+ Pick up take-out and find a random spot (i.e. the middle of the woods, courthouse steps, park bench in town, etc.) to eat together.

+ Go into a store and have each of you pick out one item in the store that the other has to find. The first person to find the item and text a photo of it to the other wins! Kisses are a great prize…and plus you both win that way, hehe.

+ Go shopping and pick out funky outfits for each other to try on. Take pictures and laugh together.

+ Have a snowball fight.

+ Do a community or mission project together (on my date bucket list).

+ Or, my favorite classic date…coffee and pastry at your favorite coffee spot.

What about you: what are some date ideas you have?

I’d love to hear your thoughts!

It’s the month of love, you guys.

I don’t like or agree with the frenzy surrounding Valentine’s Day, and it’s sad how our culture has taken something as beautiful and powerful as love and turned it into a major money making campaign. But in all reality, love does deserve to be celebrated. Whether you choose to celebrate it simply or elaborately is entirely up to you…but celebrate it! Celebrate the love between you and your husband, you and your kids, you and everyone else you love.

For the next few weeks, we’ll do a fun little series on love with a few posts on ideas for Valentines and gift ideas and a wedding post. I love love, and just because our world has taken it for it’s own advantage doesn’t mean we have to be all bah-humbug about it. Celebrate!

Today is about my love story.

It’s always fascinating to me to hear how people met and fall in love and decide to get married and spend the rest of their lives together. Marriage is such a beautiful and good thing, and it’s something to protect and nurture and celebrate.

Ben and I met four summers ago for the first time at a lake outing with friends. I don’t remember much specifically about that meeting (besides thinking he was really good looking and had really great arms), but he says he will never forget the white board shorts and big sunglasses I was wearing. I remember thinking he was super fun and really easy to hang out with. He was easy to have conversation with and seemed confident yet humble. I honestly didn’t feel any of that gushy attraction towards him, just a genuine feeling of this-is-a-good-guy kind of thing. Over the next year, we hung out a few times with different group outings and church events, and he was always friendly and engaging, but there was never the crush-feeling or flirting going on with either of us. We were friends, and probably even more like casual acquaintances than close friends.

At the end of 2011, Ben moved back to New York and I was living in North Carolina. A month after he moved back north, he came down to my church for a week long conference. We chatted a few times throughout the week, but nothing ever super deep or serious. I was actually planning on being gone for the last day of the conference to visit my sister at Bible school…but for some reason, I felt like I was supposed to stay for the conference. I felt like the Lord was saying that He had something for me on Friday night, and that I needed to stay. I made the decision to not go on the trip, and I was actually pretty excited to find out what God had for me at the conference that last night! I went to the service and while it was a good service, there was nothing dramatic or super exciting that happened for me personally. I honestly felt a little disappointed once everything was over…like, this was all?

On my way to leave, I stopped for a few minutes to chat with a group of friends. Ben was a part of the group, and after a few minutes, I said goodbye to everyone and started to walk off. He followed me a few feet away from the group and asked if he could walk me to my car. I was…surprised, but incredibly naive. Like how-nice-but-I-really-have-no-idea-why-he’s-asking-me-this. I said sure, and we started walking outside. Before we even got out of the building, I find myself in this crazy and hazy dream where Ben is saying how he has no idea how this will turn out and no idea what I will even think about this…but that he feels that he is supposed to take this giant leap in asking me if I would consider being his girlfriend and could he have my permission to talk to my dad about this (cuz he’s classy like that!).

Girlfriend.
To him.

At this point in the hazy dream, I completely froze up and literally stood there stammering for a few minutes trying to figure out what in the world was just happening. I was so endlessly surprised…I had a ton of respect and admiration for this guy, but it had never crossed my mind that he would be interested in me or that we would ever date.

Finally I managed to pull my mind from it’s state of panic and tell myself that he’s not asking me to marry him….he’s just asking to talk to my dad…just give him an answer. So I stuttered out a yes and rattled off my dad’s number. And then graciously proceeded to tell him that we can still be friends if this doesn’t go any further, since at that point, it didn’t seem like a possibility to me. I walked away from the conversation with a reeling head…literally muttering to the sky what.just.happened.

That night and the next day and for a few days after that conversation, I really felt like dating Ben would never happen. It just wasn’t the right thing. But within about five days, I couldn’t deny that somehow there was this really, really peaceful thing inside of me saying that it was right. I was really supposed to get to know this guy and go on dates with him and figure out if I should marry him.

It was surreal.

And I told him yes I would be his girlfriend, and we started dating, and that feeling of peace inside of my heart about being with him never, ever left. Neither one of us had those ooey-gooey feelings of love and attraction when we started dating, actually. We started dating because it was something we both felt was supposed to happen…because of that peace and quiet voice inside our hearts telling us to get to know each other. But those ooey-gooey feelings? They came pretty quickly after a few weeks. Before I knew it, I loved this man more than I realized I could love anyone. He captured my heart in ways I didn’t know it could be captured, and romanced me endlessly with letters and cards and flowers and fun dates and phone calls.

And when the time came to answer the BIG question, there wasn’t a doubt in my heart what the answer would be…

Stay tuned for the rest of the story!

What about you: are a celebrator of the Valentine’s holiday?

I’d love to hear your thoughts!