pregnancy

Aveline Jane, 6 lbs. 3 oz. 19.75 inches.

We welcomed our second child into our home and family on September 2, and we are overjoyed to have two daughters to love on! It’s going to be such fun to watch these two little girls grow up together and see what they become, and it still feels surreal at moments to realize that I have two daughters. It’s such a gift!

I love reading birth stories, and I already shared a short version on Instagram, but here’s the long version for those who like to read these things too::

My due date was Friday, September 1, and we were really hoping and praying for a timely birth with this one, especially since Ben’s best friend was getting married in New York the very next weekend and I wanted him to be able to be there for the wedding so badly. I really had to work through some anxiety and worry about this pregnancy turning out like it did with Ayla (we miscalculated her due date and she was born almost a month later than the original date!), and my emotions just felt so raw some days. I just made sure to stay busy with lots of outings with Ayla, and it truly was a special season for me and her in those last few weeks…just soaking up the time with my first-born. I literally felt our connection and bond grow so much during those weeks, and I am so grateful for that.

I had a prenatal checkup appointment in the morning on my due date, and my midwife and I sat and chatted for about an hour while she did the usual routine of checking the baby and taking my blood pressure, etc. She didn’t check me for dilation or internal progress, which I’m actually thankful for…I feel like sometimes knowing the numbers can make you either too hopeful or too discouraged, and really your body will just do what your body will do no matter what numbers or “progress” says. She left our house about eleven o’clock, and almost as soon as she was gone, I started in with some light contractions. I didn’t think much of it because I had been getting Braxton’s off and on all week, but they would always stop within an hour or two. We went about our routine and I fed Ayla her lunch and put her down for a nap, and then sat down to my own lunch at one o’clock. I realized as I was sitting there that I was still getting these tightenings and that they were actually coming fairly close together. So I downloaded a contraction timing app and started timing them…they were coming at every five minutes and lasting for forty-five seconds or so. They kept up this way for the rest of the afternoon, and by the time Ben got home from work, I was started to feel just a liiiiiiiiiiitttle excited…but still not convinced it was real. We decided to go into town for dinner, since we knew we would just drive ourselves crazy by sitting at home just waiting to see if this was real labor.

We had dinner at a new pizza place in Nashville, and while we were eating, contractions were stronger but spacing out farther in between. We finished eating and headed back home. I texted my midwife on the way back to let her know I was still contracting fairly regularly and wondered if this was most likely it since it had been going on so long. She texted back that more than likely they wouldn’t stop at this point, and then we started getting excited!

We got home and got Ayla ready for bed and did the bedtime routine (with a couch family selfie for the last time as a family of three) and took her upstairs for bed. I held her as we sang our usual bedtimes songs and said Psalm 23 with her…and I just sat there crying my eyes out because I realized that this was it:: this was the last time it would be just the three of us. It was such an odd blend of emotions in that moment…overwhelmed with excitement and joy about this new baby, but also overwhelmed with a kind of sadness and mourning about the sweet little season we were leaving behind.

We put her to bed and managed to pull ourselves together. Ben and I then watched a movie then for the next few hours (if you haven’t seen The Hundred Foot Journey, do! it’s a cute film) to keep ourselves occupied, and contractions were intensifying a little but staying about the same. I was getting a little discouraged, but knew there was just nothing I could do about it…if it wasn’t the right time for the birth, then…it just wasn’t the right time!

By the time the movie ended, my contractions started spacing farther apart again, only coming ten to fifteen minutes apart, so we decided to try to get some sleep. But within a few minutes of turning out the light, they were suddenly hitting a minute and a half apart lasting for forty-five seconds. I could tell these were different…and it kind of freaked me out that they were coming so close and getting harder with each one. I woke Ben and texted my midwife and she said she would head right over. Ben went to work setting up the birth pool, and I had to concentrate and walk my way through each contraction by this point. I was so happy though…like, this was happening!

By the time my midwife arrived at twelve thirty, the contractions had lessened and spaced out, and I was really worried that I overreacted and told her to come too soon. She got all her things set up, and then checked me and realized that the baby’s head wasn’t totally face-down, but kind of sidewise. She had me start on the Miles Circuit, which felt awkward with my hind-end up the air, but it worked! Within minutes of starting the circuit, I started with hard, active labor. I stuck with the circuit positions for about forty-five minutes before I needed a better way to get through the contractions, so I went into the birth pool. The water relaxed me instantly and really helped me with the last part of labor. I’m not sure how long I labored in the water before I felt ready to push, but contractions started coming hard and fast at the very end and thankfully she came out with only two minutes of pushing. And that moment…oh that moment when that little one that’s been growing inside of you for nine months is finally plopped on your chest, and you just fall back with an intense blend of relief and joy and you feel that sweet, tiny little body underneath your hands and you realize that you did it…that moment is like nothing else. We were pretty surprised to discover this baby was a girl (we were ninety nine percent convinced she was a boy!), but not disappointed in the least. We were just happy and grateful for a new, healthy little one, and now I cannot even imagine having a boy instead of her!

We named her Aveline Jane:: child wished for; gift from God. And she truly is the embodiment of her names. We were ready for another baby for over six months, and the Lord did another small miracle to give us this second daughter. We love her to pieces and are so happy to call her our own.

We’ve spent the last two weeks in that sweet newborn bubble, but I’m feeling ready to get back to real life and get the mom-of-two thing figured out. Send me any of your tips and advice that you have for this transition season…I’ve just been praying for grace upon grace over us all as we figure it all out.

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Well, hi there again!

It’s been a while since my last update, and with the holidays and then dealing with the sickies of the first trimester (YES!! WE’RE HAVING ANOTHER BABY!!), I certainly wasn’t feeling the creative feels, hehe. But thankfully I am now feeling almost back to normal and it makes me want to throw my arms around myself at random moments and say welcome back it’s so good to be you again. What is it about those first few weeks of pregnancy that just make you feel like a kind of foreigner in your own skin? It’s just a strange season for me with so many hormones raging and brain fog and overwhelming tiredness and the most random food cravings and aversions. I mean, I couldn’t eat avocados, chicken, or green, healthy things…but give me all the bread, pizza, burgers, french fries, and any other food that I didn’t cook (preferably as fatty and hearty as possible). I literally didn’t make anything in my kitchen besides egg sandwiches for four solid weeks…a strange thing for this foodie-mama who normally loves to cook, bake, and make things in the kitchen more than anything else. And bless my sweet husband who is the most gracious, kind soul who was basically mama and daddy for those difficult weeks, making his own meals, cleaning up the dishes, bringing me toast and hot tea and soda water with lime.

But now we’re almost into the second trimester and that, my dears, is a great feeling. Little baby is the size of a lime and we already love that sweet one so much. Ayla doesn’t really know exactly what is going on with it all, of course, but she does know to how to kiss and pat my belly when we talk about baby…although she then has to do the same to Ben (we’ll work on that one). Sometimes it does feel a bit surreal knowing that we will have two kids to parent and take care of, but yet it feels so right and we are overjoyed to see our family grow.

Besides growing a baby, we really haven’t been up to much else lately. It’s basically been a full-time job entailing mostly laying on the the recliner for the majority of the day and trying to keep Ayla entertained with things that require little to no energy (not an easy feat). She ended up spending a few days with my parents a few weeks ago, and while it was such a strange feeling to be at home without her, it was so nice to get some extra rest. And I think it helped propel me over the worst of the sickies and tiredness. We were more than ready to have her back with us after a few days, and it was actually such a good reminder and reset my perspective again that, yes, this parenting-mothering thing is exactly what I want to do with my life. It felt so odd and awkward to not have the normal routines of our daily life when she was away, plus I was just bored without her endless chatter and giggles and funny quirks filling up the hours of the day.

We had a great holiday season, and spent a few days in New York with Ben’s family and then a few days in South Carolina with my family. My mom and sister ended up coming back with us then after Christmas so we could have a few days in Nashville together as a girls-getaway to celebrate my mom’s birthday. I didn’t even know I was pregnant at that point yet, and was still feeling normal…so we had a great time doing fun things around the city:: shopping, drinking coffee, getting our nails done, and eating out. You know, all the best things.

I have to say, it feels good to pluck away at these computer keys again and update this little blog. I just literally could not summon the energy or the creativity to write anything over the past few months…it’s nice to be back.

What about you:: what are the funny/annoying/quirky things that you deal with in the first trimester??

I’d love to hear your thoughts!