I’m afraid I have become one of those people.

You know, the kind of pregnant blogger that suddenly can’t stop writing about all things pregnancy and babies and such. I wasn’t going to be that kind, truly…but one of my strongest personality traits is that I’m a really, really big all or nothing kind of person. If I’m in something, I’m IN it. It can be a weakness actually, and there have been many times I’ve wished I would just be a bit more mellow when it comes to being excited or involved in something. Passion and excitement is a good thing, but left out of control, it can develop into something consuming and obsessive.

So I don’t plan to only blog about pregnanty things in the months to come, or only about my baby in the years to come, but considering that pregnancy and babies have become a huge part of my world right now, you’ll still be hearing about it. Hopefully you’re ok with it. 🙂

I feel like there are so many exciting things happening right now, and I get these moments when my heart feels so full and overwhelmed that I just don’t know what to do with myself. Usually in those moments, I just smile to myself and put my hands over my belly and thank the Lord for the miracle of life. Every single day with this child is a gift, and we are never promised more than the moment we are in. I don’t let myself dwell in the fears about losing this child, but I can’t say that I don’t ever think about it. Miscarriages have happened to many of my friends and family, and as I told a dear friend a few days ago, I don’t know what it’s like to lose a child, and honestly I hope I never do…but I do know that the minute you know that there is a life inside of you, it is your child. And it will always be a part of your heart, no matter if you never get to meet that life on this side of heaven. No matter if it was four weeks old or forty weeks old. So each day that I carry this baby, I cherish it.

I had my first checkup visit with my midwife yesterday, and everything is looking as it should be. We found out that we are actually two weeks further along that we thought! I know it’s only two weeks, but suddenly it feels like April will be here so soon! I realized this morning that by Thanksgiving, I will be halfway through this pregnancy, and that blows up my mind. I feel like it’s went by so fast so far, and I know the next few months will only go faster since we are incredibly busy with trips and family visits and Christmas.

We also got to hear our baby’s heartbeat yesterday (!!!), and it was the most magical and surreal thing I’ve ever heard. Ben recorded it on his cell phone, and we just sit around and listen to it over and over. My sister says ‘it’s the sweetest little heartbeat I’ve ever heard,’ and I completely agree.

I’ve also got the slightest little bump going on now, and I love that so much. It pretty much just looks like I’ve just eaten a really big burrito at this point, but it’s still a bump! The baby is the size of an avocado, and it just seems like he’s growing so fast (ps…we’re not finding out the gender of our baby, and i use ‘he’ and ‘she’ interchangeably, so don’t get confused if i say ‘he’ one day and ‘she’ the next).

I’ve been feeling so much better the last week, and my energy is almost back to normal, although I still go to bed much earlier than normal. I don’t have many food aversions any more (besides kale…kale still completely freaks me out), and it feels so good to be back to myself again.

Pregnancy has changed me, as I’ve mentioned before. I’ve slowed down so much, and find myself just enjoying a slow drive or taking my time getting my work done or just sitting in the living room watching the fire and thinking. I feel much more introspective and retrospective and future-spective, and life feels more serious than it did a few months ago. I like that, because having a child and raising a child is serious. Not serious in a stoic kind of serious where you never laugh or tease or be silly, but serious in a way that this is an eternal soul that has been placed into our care for safe keeping. This is an eternal soul that has been placed in our home to be trained in the way he should go, and to ultimately, be led into knowing Jesus. It’s serious…and sacred. And I hope and pray that I never lose sight of that.

What about you: did you find pregnancy + the thought of raising a child change you in any way? 

I’d love to hear your thoughts!

Hey there!

I haven’t completely fallen off the world and I’ve been meaning to catch up on this blog for ages now…but there’s this weird thing that happens when you’re pregnant (actually, there’s quite a few weird things that happen…) where your brain just doesn’t always seem to want to work with you like it used to. I’ve heard it termed ‘pregnancy fog,’ and whether it’s a real condition or not, it definitely has some merit. I find myself forgetting all kind of things and just a little uninspired in general most days.

But we are doing super well so far, and while I still fight some of the sickies (mostly in the evenings) and feel pretty exhausted most days, I feel really grateful for the way my body is handling being pregnant. I know a lot of women suffer from really, really bad nausea and other symptoms, and I must say, my heart completely goes out to them. It’s difficult stuff…completely worth it for the end prize, but difficult. Every day I feel like I’m hit all over with the wonder and miracle of what is happening inside of me…it just feels like the most precious miracle and gift.

I’m about to finish up the first trimester (which feels unbelievable!), and I’m so curious to see what all the next three months of the second trimester bring us. Sometimes I just can’t wait until I have my preggy belly popping out in front of me and it’s obvious that I’m pregnant…when I have to heave myself off the couch and I walk a little oddly and I can feel that little child move inside me…

I still have a hard time cooking in my kitchen, and always feel so excited when we go out for dinner or I just don’t have to cook. My sis-in-law brought us a dinner last week, and it was such a treat to have a home-cooked meal that I didn’t have to make! My mom came up for a few days a few weeks ago, and helped me with some food to stock our freezer with, so that was super helpful as well. It feels so odd to me to be so disgusted with my kitchen, because it’s usually my favorite place to be. I’ve promised Ben a big gourmet meal once I’m back to normal, since the poor man has put up with a lot of egg sandwiches and thrown together meals lately. I feel like my appetite is starting to get back to normal since I’ve been able to eat a lot more vegetables in the past few days (small victories), because trust me, those have been pretty non-existent the last two months. It’s funny because you have these visions of how this whole thing will go and you’re just going to be the best little mommy and give that little one in your belly all the good things it needs and eat so many fruits and vegetables and healthy stuff…and then you find yourself only able to handle things like hamburgers (oh my goodness, so many hamburgers…i literally went through a phase where i had a burger almost every day for about 8 days) and macaroni and cheese and hot dogs and egg sandwiches and bagels and only the heartiest and meatiest kind of meals. Basically, anything I used to eat a lot of prior to being pregnant is out…salads, hummus, yogurt, brussel sprouts, etc. And just mention the word ‘kale’ to me, and I feel like my stomach threatens to erupt. So strange….just so very strange.

Another interesting aspect of being pregnant is shopping for clothes. I had saved up some money for clothing over the past few months, and now when I go to spend it, I have to think ahead…can I still wear this in a few months??? We’re getting a lot of loose, flowy tops and high waisted or shift dresses and extra big t-shirts and sweaters. I was super excited to find that H & M has a semi-reasonably priced maternity line (especially if you catch the sales!), and also ordered a few things from Old Navy today during their big Columbus Day sale (i got this top…which i’m not sure i’m totally going to love since jacquard can be a little hit or miss…but free returns!). I don’t plan on purchasing an entire wardrobe just for maternity, but want to get some staple pieces that can carry me through.

And of course I can’t help but browse the baby sections of stores or online shops. I’ve decided that it’s a good thing that we won’t be finding out the gender prior to birth, otherwise I would probably be tempted to buy all the cute things I see. This way, I’m pretty limited to what I can buy. Although it doesn’t stop my sister from buying the darlingest little legging and sweater set for the little one she’s convinced is a girl…and I don’t mind at all, hehe.

Thanks again for all your kind words + congratulations on our little one. We truly feel overwhelmed with excitement and are already so ready for spring to arrive!

What about you: any great shopping recommendations for maternity clothes?

I’d love to hear your thoughts!