I would venture to say that most of us believe this: that I have to be a certain way in order to be completely accepted, loved, or valued.
I think life has taught most of us to believe that who we are, in this very moment, is never enough. Life has taught us to believe that we must constantly try to be someone different, someone better, someone prettier, stronger, more successful, etc. I’m not talking about the right and good desire to really be the best we can be; I’m talking about the core belief that who I am right-now-this-second is not somehow good enough.
I believe strongly in personal growth and development, and that to become complacent with life and with ourselves is to become dull and uninspiring. I believe in learning from people who have wisdom and knowledge to offer, in learning from the Word of God, and in learning from experiences. And I believe that all of these things can make us better, stronger, and more successful, and that is a good thing.
But I also know that some of us have let that desire to be better become a drive to BE better (a play on words perhaps, but think of the difference between become better and be better). The desire makes that subtle shift from learning to be the best you can be to learning to be worthy of love and acceptance. It becomes a feeling of striving and drivenness, not pleasure.
Think about this: Jesus died for us, right? And why…?
He died so that we may know the love of God, that we may know the connection with God. And why…? Why did He want us to know the love and connection of God? Because He loves us. It’s such a simple truth that is often escapes almost un-noticed in my mind. He loved us, He died for us, and it’s good to stop and think of why.
So that we might be loved.
He actually wants us to feel loved. But yet most of us live our life feeling like we have to be different, be better, in order to be loved. The feeling of love is always out-there, always “when I become this or overcome that or learn how to be this.” But I know that it’s in this moment that we are meant to be loved…
Sometimes humans will love us conditionally. Sometimes humans will project an expectation on you that you have to reach in order to be accepted or counted worthy by them. This is sad, but it’s not love. It’s not the love that Jesus wants you to know.
I think that Jesus died so that we can know love and so that we can just rest in love. I think He died so that, yes, we can grow and develop into a better person all of our life, but that ultimately we know deep inside that we are good enough today.
You don’t have to be any different to be loved.
What about you: do you find yourself feeling like you have to be different/better in order for people or God to love you?
I’d love to hear your thoughts!
