JUST A LITTLE THING

Sometimes it’s easy to think the little things don’t matter.

And in all reality, sometimes they don’t. We can do things, say things, think things that have little to no impact on our lives or those around us. But sometimes those little things that seem so small and insignificant can turn into things much bigger than we realize. And it’s only by their compound effect over time that we suddenly see what the little things can do, either to us or to someone else.

I talk to Ayla a lot, even though she’s too small to fully understand what I say. I talk to her when I’m nursing her, bathing her, changing her diaper, putting on her clothes…or when she’s just sitting in her swing watching me or when we’re driving along in the car. I tell her about what is going on or what we’re planning to do or just whatever conversations come to mind. It might seem silly to talk to such a little person who doesn’t know what’s going on, but I really believe that talking to her now is a way of showing her respect as a person and developing a relationship with her.

One of the little things that I’ve become aware of in my conversations with her is as simple and small as one little word. I caught myself doing this thing in the first few weeks of her life, and the day that I realized it was the day that I stopped. It’s such a little thing really, but I think it’s something that over time could create thought processes and beliefs about herself that I don’t want for her. Whenever she would do something good or that I liked, (i.e. burp after eating, going to sleep easily, not getting worked up when I would dress her, etc.) I would praise her with the words “good girl.” There’s really nothing inherently wrong in saying this…I mean, she was being a good girl. But one day I was giving her a bath and she was being so good and I looked her in the eyes and told her she was a good girl…and something inside of me suddenly just didn’t seem to feel right in calling her that. It was odd at first, but the more I thought about it, the more I didn’t ever want to call her a good girl again.

Because what I don’t want for her is this: I don’t want her to ever believe that her goodness or value is dependent on what she does. If she does good, than she is good. I realized that if I were to repeatedly tell her “good girl” when she did something good, there is a good chance that over time she would come to believe that she had to do to be good. She was a good girl only when she did good.

But I want something different for my little girl’s heart.
I want her to know that because of Jesus she is good.
I want her to grow up knowing that her identity is rooted in something greater than what she does or doesn’t do.
I want her to believe that her parents are proud of her and love her no matter what.

So now when she does something good, I just tell her “good job.” I want her to know that she did good, but whether she did that good or not, it doesn’t change who she is or how I see her. She’s a good girl who does good jobs.

It’s just a little thing, but sometimes those little things actually really matter.

What about you: what are some little things in your life/speech/actions that could potentially cause bigger effects than you realize?

I’d love to hear your thoughts!