We are almost three weeks into being a family of four, and we are slowly getting it figured out, I think.
The first week after Aveline was born was both the best week and the hardest week. We were soaking up the newness of a baby and just planting ourselves in that sweet little bubble that comes after a baby…but it was also the hardest days with Ayla and just trying to balance it all in that first week was a challenge at times. I was not at all prepared for the strange disconnection I would feel with Ayla in that first week, and it broke my heart so many times when I would feel her pull away from me. She would often just look at me with a kind-of-confused look on her face when I would try to talk or engage with her, and would hardly let me hold her or snuggle with her. I was prepared for her to have a hard time accepting the baby, but I just didn’t ever think about how it would affect my relationship with her. She would fuss and whine about anything and everything, and I knew she was just trying to figure it all out. My mom spent the first week with us, and if we hadn’t had her help with Ayla during the days, I’m not sure what we would have done! The first six days were the hardest, but by the seventh day, she suddenly seemed to snap back to normal. And now she is back to her chatty self and has been such a trooper with the transition.
I am so thankful to have an easy recovery from this birth, and honestly could hardly even tell or feel that I had a baby by the next day. Recovery was a world of difference from Ayla’s birth! Aveline had a few really rough nights that first week and I would be up with her until after one o’clock just trying to get her to settle to sleep, but thankfully she has her days and night figured out now. She wakes 2-3 times a night to nurse, but usually is able to settle right back down to sleep after her tummy is full.
This week is the first that I’ve been on my own with the two girls, and we are slowly getting our new routines figured out. Aveline usually wakes up for the day at five or six, which is actually nice because then I am able to get her fed and put down for her first nap by the time Ayla wakes up. And then Ayla and I are able to do our normal morning together with breakfast and Bible reading and Little Baby Bum and brushing teeth and getting dressed while Avy is napping. Ayla has done so well this week and has just been extra patient and kind when I need to take care of her sister. It’s a big adjustment for her for sure, but she’s handling it with a lot of grace.
I am feeling almost back to normal, although my hormones did hit me over the weekend and I was so weepy and emotional about everything. I’m not normally a big cryer, so it feels so odd to just want to cry over everything! But I feel more leveled out now and not as overwhelmed or emotional. I’m so thankful for a midwife who took the time to talk to us about some of the postpartum emotions and feelings, and that they are normal and just to go with them instead of trying to stuff them inside. So I just cried when I needed to cry, even if I didn’t even know why I was crying.
So we are doing good, adjusting, finding new routines and new normals. Being a mama of two is a lot more challenging and stretching than it is with one, but anything that is worthwhile doing has it’s elements of challenge and stretch. So thankful for the two that we have been given to love!
