I’ve come to realize something about motherhood that both inspires and scares me.
I’ve been thinking a lot about becoming a mom and what that really means and what my life will look like for the rest of my life once our first child is born and looks into my eyes…because I know from that moment on, I will never be the same person. I will always be mom to this child and to any others that come in the years to come. It’s a beautiful thing, and I feel as ready for that season of life as I can be. But in my thinking about being a mom I’ve realized something…I’ve realized that there is one predominant word and action the sums up what being a good mother really is:: it’s giving.
Motherhood is all about giving.
A mother gives and gives and gives, and receives very little, if anything, in return.
She gives her body in pregnancy and labor and birth. She gives her love in the middle of the night when she could be sleeping. She gives endless attention to that newborn and toddler, helping them develop into their own independence. She gives kisses and hugs and snuggles, because that’s what children need. She gives her hands to make food and wash dishes and sweep up crumbs, and then does it all over again the next day. She gives her voice to instruction and affirmation and story time on the couch. She gives her feet and legs to playing childhood games in the yard and to push babies on a swing and to running frantically towards a child tottering towards harm. She gives up her quiet mornings and uninterrupted meals and fingerprint-less windows all for these little things called children.
She gives.
A mother gives and gives and gives.
I’ll be honest…realizing the extent of the giving that is required to be a mom scares me sometimes. There are some people in life who are such good and natural givers. You know, those people who seem to thrive off of serving and giving and never asking for anything in return. But I am not one of them. It is much easier for me to take than give. It’s not that I don’t give and serve, but it’s not my natural inclination to just love love love to lay down my wishes and agenda for someone else. I have to fight my own selfish heart often in the way of giving.
So thinking ahead to all that will be required of me in the coming years can be daunting. It’s exciting, absolutely, and I still cannot wait to bring this child into the world and become a mom. But it can be daunting at times. I have moments where I feel so anxious about my abilities to be a good mom, to be such a constant giver. What if I just get so tired of it? What if I just want my old life back with my quiet mornings and me-time and coffee outings and clothes that don’t smell like spit up and baby poo? What if I can’t do this thing called motherhood well?
But so many times when I start to feel doubtful and anxious, the sweet voice of God whispers to my soul…that this is what I was created for. I was created to give. And His grace will sustain me as I continue to give life and nurture life as a mom in the years to come. I won’t be a perfect parent, and I know there will be times that I feel tired of giving…but the giving way is His way and He will be there with me at every moment.
What about you: what are your thoughts on the giving that is required as a mother?
I’d love to hear your thoughts!
DelightinHome says
I was a part of a women's Bible study when Addi was a baby. I was by far the youngest mom there and once I mentioned how I was struggling to be unselfish as a mom and wife. I was met with blank stares, and as I remember, no encouragement. I felt so foolish that they had never struggled with this, but now looking back I can see how they may have just forgotten. I absolutely still have selfish tendencies and giving is not my Forte either, but it certainly has become easier and like second nature to me now. I just hope I can remember so I can encourage anyone struggling with it now.
Bonita Hershberger says
This is so beautiful Alicia! And I think you give so much more than you realize you do! I could make a long list of what you give unintentionally: a smile, a confidence in a situation (which gives strength), you spend countless hrs learning information that you share with others, inspiration to others to the hard things because your willing to do the hard things, your vulnerability & honesty gives others courage to do the same….. I know this is not really the question you were asking, but unintentional giving is as BIG as intentional giving! You are gonna be an amazing mom…. even when it feels like your not! ….Come on baby!! We are ready for you! :))
mom // “gramom”
Alicia Lapp says
That is so encouraging to hear, Kayla! It's just like any other skill that we need to learn…it takes times and experience and even mistakes for it to become something second nature. It's good to know it gets easier as time goes on. 😀
Alicia Lapp says
Mom! This is one of the most beautiful + encouraging things I've ever heard. THANK YOU.
xoxo
Shelley Smucker says
You are not alone friend! And of course there WILL still be mornings even after you're years into mothering when you would give just about anything for a quiet walk or cup of hot coffee in solitude.:) But I can promise you this…..it is worth it and much, much more. Hardest and Best thing I've ever done, this being-a-mom business. <3 Much love to you in these last few days! I'm jealous that you're so near the end.:)
Alicia Lapp says
I hear that so many times…that motherhood is the hardest + BEST thing. I can't wait to experience the challenges and joys myself!
Your babe will be here before you know it!