THIS IS WHAT I WANT FOR HER

The other day I made a list…because you know I love my lists.

I made a list because I realized that my little girl was getting older, growing right before my eyes. She’s starting to watch me and her dad, constantly noticing what we are doing…and she’s taking it in. She’s watched us all along of course, sitting in her Bumbo seat or bouncing in her jumper. But she’s just been a baby so far and it was just watching. There wasn’t that grown-up, observant look in her eyes that she has now…that taking in of all that is going on around her. It’s good, of course, that observant eye. But I’ll be honest…it scares me sometimes.

Because she’s watching me. She’s watching me all day, every day. She sits in the kitchen at my feet as I prepare food and bake treats and clean the dishes. She watches me curl my hair and put on make up and pick out clothes for the day. She’s right beside me as I fold laundry. She hears me when I talk to her dad and sits on my lap when I’m spending time with friends. She’s with me as I buy groceries or shop for things. She watches me as I sit, walk, eat, rest, love, work, worship. And in all of this, she is looking to me to show her what a woman is.

I will be her standard of normal for womanhood.

What an undeniably sacred, overwhelming, beautiful calling. I feel so inadequate for this…I feel so unprepared. I feel like I need her to stay small for a whole lot longer yet so I can get my act together. I don’t feel ready to have this precious little girl watching me and looking to me to show her what it means to be a woman. But maybe I won’t ever feel ready, really…because we don’t ever fully arrive, right? We’re always growing, changing, journeying toward greater freedom and fullness of life.

So back to the list. I wrote a list of all the things I want to instill into her heart…the qualities and characteristics that I want to see in her. I’m not concerned about what she will become or do with her life. If she wants to be a teacher or an astronaut or a line cook at a fancy restaurant, that’s all fine. But I am concerned about her becoming a woman, about growing up into all that she was designed for. These are some of the things I want for her:

I want her to be unhurried.
I want her to appreciate people and the beauty around her.
I want her to have freedom in who she is.
I want her to be a lover of God.
I want her to delight in being a woman.
I want her to work hard, but also know how to rest and be still.
I want her to believe in her own beauty.

I wrote this list and I sat back, stunned and overcome. Because this is the thing I saw in that moment…if I want all these things for her, I have to want all these things for me. If I want all these things for her, I need to walk in these ways as well. She’s looking to me to show her what it means to be a woman. She’s looking to me to live out all of the things that I wish for her to live out.

Help me, Lord.

What about you: what are some things you value to instill into your children? 

I’d love to hear your thoughts!