What is it about a piece of toast that is so comforting?
It must have something to do with how I grew up and whenever we were sick, mom would make us a piece of toast with butter and honey. Even if you weren’t able to eat hardly any of it, it was still such a comfort to have it there beside you and take nibbles of it to help settle an upset stomach. I don’t know if other moms use toast in their homes for their sick ones, but it’s the first thing I offer to Ben or myself when we’re not feeling good.
Sometimes I need a piece of toast for comfort even when I’m feeling perfectly healthy.
It’s been a doozy of a week and not necessarily because of the new home and new area and new everything. It’s been fun and exciting to settle in and unpack boxes and begin to learn a new community. But Ayla’s been in the middle of a growth spurt and also trying to adjust to a new place and also getting close to the four-month mark, which according to what I’ve heard can often be a difficult time of transition with eating and sleep patterns. She’s not been napping as well and just a lot fussier in general for the past week. These seasons are all a part of parenting, and I know that, but honestly this week has worn me down. I feel like my patience and grace levels are pretty low, and I think the busyness and upheaval of the past few weeks finally caught up to me.
Honestly, yesterday wasn’t a great day for me. Ayla was having a hard day with naps and the one she did have were short and she would wake up feeling cranky because she still needed more sleep, which made me feel cranky and frustrated. I got super upset at Ben for making a decision that I didn’t like and was literally acting like a twelve-year-old brat because of it. Like, silent-treatment-don’t-talk-to-me-right-now-because-i’m-really-mad-and-just-want-to-be-mad-for-awhile kind of upset. It’s embarrassing now, and I apologized for my awful behavior and we talked through all the drama I was feeling inside of me…and I realized all over again how absolutely thankful I am to have this incredibly good man as my husband, who loves me and gives me grace in the middle of my mess.
We sat down for supper (which didn’t turn out great…further adding to my annoyed list of woes) and about halfway through, Ayla is hungry…so I stop to feed her. She also hasn’t been nursing as well this week, but for some reason, she was so unhappy and unsettled and upset when she was trying to eat her supper. She would nurse and pull off and burst into tears…and just kept doing that over and over. I tried switching sides and burping her and giving her gas drops and bouncing her around…but nothing helped. She seemed so hungry, but yet unable to eat…and it made me feel like such a failure, really. Why couldn’t I seem to give her what she needed? And for that matter, what did she need?
Ben ended up taking her upstairs to have a bath, which settled her down and she went to sleep soon after. I sat in the living room with tears on my face and realized that I just needed a piece of toast. I needed more than that too…I needed to refocus and pray and spend time talking with Ben, and I did all those things and it quieted my soul. But first, toast.
What about you: what helps comfort your soul in the middle of a hard day?
I’d love to hear your thoughts!
Yes, you deserve toast! Things got harder with M around 4 months, too. He was a perfect angel for a month or two, and then all of a sudden he wasn’t sleeping well, wasn’t eating well. We had to start sleep training. I started worrying about my milk supply. And then it just passed. We got through it, and once again I was reminded of the ups and downs that make up our every day. We just have to ride the wave and know that it’s all going to be OK. Toast helps, too. 🙂 For me, ice cream. Or eggs and rice. Or a big bowl of ramen. Have a great weekend, Alicia!
It’s so good to know that this is only a phase and it too shall pass. 😀 I’ve been worried about my milk supply too…because it just seems like she’s not getting enough!! Thanks for sharing your thoughts and encouragement. It ALWAYS help to hear from other mamas. 🙂
What you described about the nursing sessions is exactly how Rocco has been today and he’s only two months! I was Googling all kinds of things, Tim and I were trying to think of ways to troubleshoot and it was super frustrating. You’re obviously hungry, child, and I have the solution! Why are you pulling away? Ah. Who knows what tomorrow will bring. Every day is a surprise, ha! I just read something this morning about how the goal of grace is not independence but dependence on Jesus. When my systems and strategies work super well I can think I’m ok now, thanks, Lord, but not really lean on Him. He is good to use even a fussy baby to show me I need Him right now. Thinking of you guys! Glad you shared this.
It’s such a helpless feeling when they do that! Ayla has been nursing so super well up until this past week, but we’ll make it through this little hiccup I’m sure. 😉 Such GOOD words about relying on the grace of Jesus to get you through even these tough little things and Him using even a fussy little one to gather us closer to His heart. You’re a gem, dear!
I totally get this. As a wife and mother there are so many things that call for our attention, but sometimes we really do need toast first. The rest is all important, but it can wait. Yeah, toast!
Also, I apologize in advance for sharing the toast song and getting it STUCK IN YOUR HEAD all day long, but here goes: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vB81Zzecd6w